Why Learning To Love Yourself Is Worth The Journey
Recently, I read an article titled ‘Why Learning To Love Yourself Is Worth The Journey‘ which spoke about the truths behind self-love as well as the importance of it. Self-love is a difficult concept to grasp, growing up we have been taught by society that it is wrong to be confident and attention seeking when we fail to see our own individual beauty. This is where there is a fine line between confidence and conceitedness and most of us are too afraid of accidentally crossing.
From a personal experience, I would go through phases of feeling at my best then a day later switch to a completely different person full of self-loathing. Throughout my teenage years, I found issues with myself, if it was not my skin it was my weight and if it was not my weight then it would be my hair or the way I looked without makeup. Slowly one by one I would think of things I did not like about myself instead of accepting myself for the way I was.
I believe growing up we always want something we do not have; I used to hate my naturally curly hair and make comments to my mum how I wish my hair was naturally straight. My front teeth had a gap between them and I hated smiling with my teeth. Sooner or later my gap naturally closed, but still to this day I do not like smiling with my teeth; purely because I feel it makes my cheeks look chubby. The lesson here is that we constantly look at other peoples features and wished that we had them; only to forget if we did, we would all look the same.
With society glamorising sharp jawlines, prominent cheekbones, size 6/8 figures or in case the ‘new thin’ slim thick; we forget about all the features and shapes and sizes that are outside of the trend-setting spectrum. I know that I will never be a size 6 or have a sharp jawline and that is okay. My younger sister got those genes and simply I filled out and have been left with my squishy cheeks and that is okay. Over time I have accepted that I will not be one of those generic stereotypical ‘Instagram girls’, do not get me wrong, they are absolutely gorgeous in their own way but that is me and I am sure there is plenty of other girls out there who are feeling the exact same way.
The influence of social media always has a counter-argument; there are positives and there are negatives. Snapchat once made me feel like I was not ‘pretty enough’ if I did not have a filter on my face or by using a filter I looked prettier to the world. By using a filter by insecurities of having a rounder face were fixed by a simple filter but it was not the real me; once the filter was unselected, I faced a reflection that I believed simply was not good enough.
Now, this is why I enjoy blogging. Through blogging my pictures have been taken on a DSLR camera, a camera that gets up close and personal, that will capture my spot on my forehead or show my bone structure in its true form. When I look back at these photos I am staring at my reflection and not someone who has been distorted into someone else. Once again, do not get me wrong, I still love a good Snapchat filter and on those days where you do not feel your best, a little bit of airbrush does give you the extra bit of needed confidence. But no longer do I need that, to feel some sort of validation.
I think a majority of us are all guilty of doing this at some point and that is airbrushing or using Facetune. I will single-handedly admit to editing my photos in the past (mainly last summer when I was at my heaviest weight) and there is nothing wrong if you do retouch your photos slightly. However, changing the way your body looks and completely transforming your image, only hurts yourself more in the long run. You know that little before and after button? Click that and you see the difference before and after; which from experience only destroys your self-esteem.
What is the point of us retouching our photos if we constantly criticise magazines and influencers for doing the same?
Learning to love yourself is hard, and while I will not lie and say it is an easy journey; all I can say is that it is worth it. I may not feel happy with the way I look all the time nor am I saying once you learn to love yourself, there will not be days where you feel unconfident (because there will be). But I can promise that once you feel more comfortable in your own skin, you will find happiness in yourself instead of searching for validation in the way others perceive you.
Let me know your favourite ways to practise self-love down below. I love searching on Pinterest for positivity quotes and reading Rupi Kaur’s self-love poetry.
“how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you”