A Letter to My Future Self

Dear Future Self,

First of all, I hope you are doing good and no matter where life has taken you, I hope you are full of happiness and you are content with the life you are living. Secondly, I know how you have your life planned out; by 21 you hope to have made it through university, graduating with at least a 2:1, by 25 you dream to be a qualified solicitor and by 27 you hope to have found someone to settle down and start a family with. But as we all know, life is not as easy as that and while you dream of these many things to be achieved by an ideal age, if your timeline is not on track with your ‘perfect’ idea; do not stress, do not worry, everything happens for a reason.

I hope that you have learned from your past and certainly healed from any hurt that has been caused because as much as you have your faults, your kindness, loyalty and dedication for others is one of your strengths. The way you go above and beyond for people you care about is something both I and probably you believe to be a bad thing, always going the extra mile for those who turn out to not be deserving of it. But I hope that you have learned to accept that not everyone has the same heart as you and that you stick to your loving nature, it’s a good thing. trust me.

As much as you hate to admit it you are not always right but I do hope that with age; wisdom has come and by that, I hope you listen to your gut feeling and intuition more than the nineteen-year-old version of you does. At the same time whatever you do, please do not overthink. Overthinking everything has not got you very far in the first nineteen years, please do not put yourself through another nineteen years of that.

Wherever you are, whether that is at work, chilling with a glass of wine on the sofa with your friends, with your family or by yourself, take a moment and take everything in. Appreciate your worth and the things you have accomplished so far, being pessimistic growing up has allowed you to forget your worth a lot of the time. Do not forget it now.

Whatever you are feeling, appreciate your life and everyone who is in it, you have spent so long waiting to grow up, have your dream job and your perfect family, even if it is not what you thought it would be; just appreciate it. If you are feeling sad stick Legally Blonde and an oversized hoodie on, grab your favourite bed throw and watch it. Recite it word for word, get mad when Warner breaks Elles’ heart and be smiling when she finds her worth and proves everyone wrong. This has succeeded in making you feel better for the last eight years if not more, so I pray it has not worn off just yet. If you are feeling happy, go for a car ride and blast the lyrics to early 2000’s R&B music. Or maybe scrap that. Just keep doing what makes you happy, because you deserve it even if you think you don’t.

I hope that bridges have been built with family members that you have lost connection with as that has caused more heartbreak than any boy could and I hope that you are still close with your mum and not so little anymore sister. I hope that your mum is the happiest she is and is still very much so in love with your annoying but amazing step-dad and I wish that your family is stronger than ever before.

No matter what you are doing, what you are feeling or where you are, all I can hope and pray for is that one day when you read back on this extremely cringe letter to yourself, you remember you have gotten through so much already. Whatever life throws at you, catch it with both hands, embrace it and whatever you do, do not let it get the better of you.

I wish you happiness, success and health and that your life is everything that your nineteen-year-old self-had in store for you.

You’ve got this!

Much Love,

Courtney Bekah x

19 y/o